I won’t tell you I miss you
I’ll try not to say I miss you, even though I want to, because oh how I miss you when you’re gone, but I’ll show you how much I love you.
I’ll show you by not taking your Legos apart when you go to your Mama’s house. When your favorite orange juice is on sale, I’ll get it for you. Even if you’re not here, so it’s waiting for you to come back. I’m waiting for you, too. I’ll try to remember to wash your favorite clothes. I’ll let you read to me as long as you want. I’ll send you messages when you’re gone that make you laugh and will learn more knock knock jokes.
But I won’t tell you I miss you.
I won’t tell you I wish you could stay longer when it’s time for you to go. Even when you wish you could stay and finish that big project you’ve started that has taken over the whole table. I’ll tell you that your toys and projects and dress-up clothes will be waiting for you when you get back. I’ll promise to take good care of the dog while you’re away. I’ll ask you about your time at your Mama’s house and I’ll get excited with you, for you, when you tell me about all your new toys and great adventures.
I won’t tell you how much I miss you.
I’ll try to do regular stuff when we’re together. Like help you clean your room and take you with me to the grocery store. I’ll have you help me with dinner and ask you to feed the cat. I’ll let you sleep in my bed and we’ll stay up late talking. Always talking. I’ll let you get frustrated with me and I’ll try not to lose my patience. I’ll try to understand what it’s like for you to live in two houses, to move every two days, to hold it all together in your little six-year-oldness.
It’s okay, love. And the stuff that isn’t? It will be.
I won’t tell you I miss you. I’ll just love you with all I am. I promise.