An Open Letter To Guido Barilla

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Dear Guido Barilla,
I am writing to you today under unfortunate circumstances. When I woke up this morning, I certainly didn’t expect to end my day by writing a letter to the chairman of a pasta company, but here we are. I am writing to you in regards to your recent statements about my family. I know you don’t know my actual family, because, you know, we aren’t close, you and I. So, let me introduce you. My wife and I have been married, legally, for nearly ten years. We have a four-year-old daughter together. She calls us Mommy and Mama. We eat dinner at our table together every night. We work hard. We love even harder.

We are the gay family that you don’t agree with.

I’m not really sure how you can disagree with a family structure, honestly. We love each other. We’re not doing anything illegal. Our daughter is an incredible little kid who continues to grow and amaze us daily. We take our responsibilities seriously. To her. To each other. To our community.

The thing is, you can think whatever you want about my family. You’re wrong, but you’re free. I actually don’t want to try to convince you that my family rules. It does, but if you can’t see that gay families deserve equal treatment by now, then I can’t imagine this letter is going to change your mind. That’s fine.

I’m not here to change your mind. I’m here to tell you to stop talking.

In a world where LGBT youth kill themselves too often, in a world where my community is still tortured and murdered for something we can’t control, in this world where public opinion has shifted away from your ideas and a lot closer to mine, in this world where nothing is perfect and people are hurting, in this world where you are in a position of power and authority as the chairperson of a major corporation, you need to keep your ideas to yourself. Please. For my family. For my community. For all of us.

While we won’t be buying your products anymore, like many others in the LGBT community and our allies, this really isn’t about that. It’s about responsibility. When you speak, people listen. When your company takes a stand for homophobia instead of against it, the world is paying attention. Many are outraged, many aren’t. It’s those who agree with you that I’m worried about. Those who will now speak of your words proudly at their dinner table tonight in front of their closeted teenager.

The time has come for the hate to end. The world is ready for those in power to step forward for equality. If you aren’t ready to join them, then please, just quietly step back.

Thank you,
Casey

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102 Comments

  1. YES. Also, he was quoted later in his “apology” saying, “I simply wanted to highlight the central role of the woman in the family.”

    I read that to Momo today and said, “Um, many families are headed by two women. So uh…”

    Ugh. But that’s beside the point.

    I’m sad that I can’t eat Barilla pasta anymore either. I’m not going to support that jackass.

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    • The central role of the woman in the family? What does that even mean? Ugh… I am so not buying Barilla anymore! I am insulted on so many different levels now. :-/

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  2. Well said, my friend. Thank you for writing and sharing this. It sucks that you have to, but I am grateful that you speak out on behalf of your family and so many others who need to be heard and respected.

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  3. Thank-you for writing this! My wife and I have been married for over two years now and I love when I see someone stand up for our community :)

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  4. That’s a very good post Casey.

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  5. Well said, Casey. No more of that brand pasta for us.
    And I love the picture of baby Roozle eating spaghetti.

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  6. Thank you for writing this :)
    My two- woman-family (double the woman power, right?!) are big pasta people. Maybe this will help us cut out all those carbs? :)

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  7. I still can’t believe that at this point in history people are still allowed to openly discriminate against anothers preferences :(

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    • People aren’t allowed to voice their opinions? We all lose when we lose that ability.

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      • Agreed! I don’t agree with his thought process, but I can speak with my pocket book ;-)

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  8. Your point about what we say matters is so true. The flip side is how we spend our money matters too. It can be hard to shift spending, justifying it away by saying your $2.09 here and $1.85 there doesn’t matter, but it really really does. Thank you for framing it so articulately.

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    • This is a picture from Roozle’s very first time eating spaghetti. We made it together. I couldn’t tell if she liked making it or eating it more. HA!

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  9. While I agree with your sentiment, you lost me at “Dear Guido”. You’re right. What we say really does matter.

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    • His name is actually Guido, it wasn’t a “slur”.

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    • JFC are you kidding? She lost you because of your own personal ignorance?

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    • Perhaps if you bothered to read what the CEO of Barilla had said, you would have known that the mans name is Guido. In italy that is still a widely used first But thanks for posting with intelligence. Always appreciated.

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  10. GO, Casey! I was thinking exactly that when I read and shared the story yesterday. “Mia-sorta-kinda-culpa.” BRILLIANT blogger turn of phrase, that! Why can’t people just keep their mouths shut? Loved the back pedaling, however, when his PR people surely asked him if he was nuts, and whether he thought for one second about market share and how many LGBT folks own restaurants, are foodies, eat pasta. We’re #GF, so I happily have not contributed to their market share in 11 years. With you and your family, and this was beautifully written.

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  11. This would be a great addition to the @MSWatUSC #SABD13 Suicide Prevention Blog Carnival. @MSWatUSC This is so well written, so sensible. Its most thought-provoking moment refers to the high rate of suicide among LGBT teens, and the troubling thought of parents sitting around a dinner table discussing how they agree with him in front of their closeted teen. Home needs to be a child’s safe place to land at the end of a tough day being bullied at school. Perhaps we can choose our words carefully, and temper these media stories with things like, “I know their parents love them just the same.” We never think it will be our kid that feels so out of place in the world, so desperate that they are contemplating suicide…but what if it is? September is suicide prevention month. Love, acceptance and tolerance may go a long way in preventing it in our own houses.

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  12. Can I play devil’s advocate? Not that what I am about to say is going to change anything and, for the records, your position pretty much mirrors mine.
    But I think it is fair to consider the context where Guido Barilla made that statement. He was guest at a radio program specializing in putting their guests in the position to say things that they would rather have kept for themselves. All it takes is someone who is not very skilled at public talking, and they invariably get you to expose your dirty little secrets. That’s how they create their buzz and make money.
    Now, much as Barilla’s products are famous and ubiquitous, the guy is no public figure – I would not even know why he was there in the first place, I can’t remember that he ever appeared or talked in public. As thus, he was easy prey for the weasely program hosts. Without this context, I seriously doubt that he wouldn’t have indeed kept his ideas for himself; but he was so ill-advised as to accept the invitation to the program, and bingo.
    If that does not change your wish to spend your money somewhere else now, I perfectly understand: words said are words said, it is his right to spell them out, it is your right to not like them and react accordingly.
    Personally I don’t need to change my buying habits because Barilla’s pasta sucks anyway, and I only bought it as a last resort (we are Italians – real deal from the old Country – and go through a lot of it). I’ll prefer some non-Italian-made pasta in these cases, it’s not like Barilla is much better anyway.
    All the best to your wonderful family.

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    • I agree with you…. He does not HAVE to keep his opinion to himself, if he doesn’t want. There was no discrimination on his part, only his opinion. Also, he did not just randomly make this statement. I will not boycott Barilla for this, I will buy as I normally do, (I buy whatever is on sale)

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    • I think it’s REALLY IMPORTANT to note that Barilla was outlining his company policy to not advertise using gay families because he thinks they are wrong. To wit, the interviewer exposed a form of CORPORATE DISCRIMINATION. So, yeah, your defense of his statement doesn’t hold water.

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      • I hate to use such comparisons, but what if he had said, Barilla doesn’t use Black families, or Native American families, in our advertising? It makes it a little clearer, doesn’t it?

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        • The Bible doesn’t say black and Native American families are an abomination, but it does say homosexuality is. Living a gay lifestyle is not a race issue. It is a sin issue.

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          • Lori, gluttony is also a sin, so by what you’re saying the legions of people who overeat every single day causing themselves to be overweight should be discriminated against because they too are sinners according to the Bible? We all sin in different ways…including you.

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          • Lori, WWJD – seriously, I don’t understand people using the Bible as if the Bible says it is OK to hurt others…Love one another! Can I make it any more clear?

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          • Forget the bible for a minute……

            Do you remember when women could not vote?
            And “colored” people had to use separate bathrooms and sit at the back of the bus, as if they would ‘infect’ whites with some sort of disease?

            It’s 2013, people don’t choose their race. People don’t choose to be left handed. And they don’t choose to be gay.

            Lori, I would be careful about the glass house you live in. (you may find unwanted stones coming your way in your righteousness) They Bible can be extremely antiquated at times, i.e. how would you feel if all the “Lori’s” should be Lynched just because their name is Lori?

            Ridiculous, right? Make some sense, would you please?

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          • I love it when the bible calls good people an abomination! So warm and fuzzy.

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          • It also says that a marriage is void if a woman isn’t virgin, and that she should be stoned to death for that. So?

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      • Hold on, Kurt: I was NOT defending his policy, just saying that, in all likeness, he would never have voiced his opinion if he weren’t in that context. The post is about him having a right to his opinion but to please keep it to himself, and I only explained the events that led him to expose it. And, please check again, I clearly said that this is not changing anything now that the damage is done.

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        • You are right. My apologies. It is clear that you aren’t defending his statement. My point however, is that his statement – no matter how it was elicited – is not just his private opinion – it is an opinion reflected in the Barilla advertising policy, which is the company’s most public face. That’s why the statement is a problem, and no matter how it was ferreted out, I think it’s important to hold Barilla and his company accountable.

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  13. I will never eat a Barilla noodle as long as I live. I’m going to ask restaurants what noodles they use, just to be sure.

    I love your family, Casey, as I would any family on this planet.

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  14. Couldn’t agree more, my garbage is full of Barilla boxes this morning and I hope somehow those teenagers who are afraid to share who they are know how many of us are behind them today.

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    • while I disagree with what he said (no matter the context) I would hope that if you do choose to boycott the product –including what you have stocked in your house–that you would donate it to a food bank instead of just throwing it out in the trash.

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  15. I’m sorry- but why is anyone speaking out against gay marriage? Can we all just accept that love is a beautiful thing and that happy, healthy, family units are not an issue for anyone, anywhere, for any reason? Perhaps these corporate people could start speaking out about their strong feelings against hunger, poverty or domestic violence, child abuse, texting while driving or drug abuse?

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  16. Thank you for speaking from a place of love instead of a place of hate with your words. The world needs more people like you!

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  17. Beautifully written. Your point was clear and from a place of love an support and not hate like some of the other responses I’ve see to his “speech”. Thank you.

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  18. Casey…your letter was awesome!! I have a daughter who has been married to her significant other now for almost 4 years and love her her wife and their 2 daughters enormously, my granddaughters
    Thank you for taking a stand for all that share the llove.

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  19. This letter is pure perfection. Barilla is no longer welcome in my home. So I hope Guido realizes that the role this woman is taking is to no longer throw Barilla in our shopping cart.

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  20. Considering other angles, I also wonder how many of Barilla’s employees are gay and how they are treated. I wonder how its female employees are treated.

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  21. I posted this link on the Barilla facebook page. I encourage everybody to do something, write something, say something to Barilla.

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  22. There are SO many pasta companies, good ones too. Personally, I like to buy one that is a product of my state. Maybe a company in your home state produces pasta. I get so annoyed at these aholes; they’re so used to being THE BOSS, they forget the public pays their check… and we can deny them our money. If Grandpa Guido didn’t care about hurting people’s feelings, he might just be in for a lesson on the consumer & their buying power.

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  23. Amazing letter. Prayers for a safe world for our children to grow up in… being supported for who they are, and not what society thinks they should be. Less bigotry, more love!! <3

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  24. Thank you for writing this letter. I don’t want my 18-year old daughter to face hate and discrimination as she starts her adult life. Peace!

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  25. so he don’t agree with you- its his right not to believe all the hype of same sex households, its his company and if he does not want to put you all in his ads that his right. get over it! he really did not hurt you with his words – he just spoke his mind.

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  26. Some things are a lot more important than Barilla pasta…like values…family values. I gladly join the boycott.

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  27. I haven’t eaten Barilla pasta since I was destitute and that’s what the food shelf had. I buy the cheapest brand– store brand– which is the exact same to my taste buds, anyhow. I’m no pasta connoisseur. But I would think that– regardless of the situation (and I don’t really have much respect for shock jocks who weasel and barrage people to get them to say something out of frustration or confusion)– he would have seen that we are no longer in a time when people will accept that sort of discrimination. And it is. To say that two men or two women are not just as pivotal to the family role as a man and a woman is ignorant. To refuse to use them in commercials because he doesn’t want to affect how other people think of his pasta (it’s fucking pasta, dude, get a grip, we could all make our own if we wanted and what would then line your pockets?) is discrimination.

    People are allowed to have their own opinions. That doesn’t mean they are right. Or even valid any longer. Gay marriage is legal in most parts of the US. In fact, many other countries were way ahead of us. Can we leave people to raise their beautiful children (like your spaghetti-covered cutie?) and stop thinking that their (Barilla’s, Chick-fil-A’s, etcs) piddly little singular opinion means anything to anyone, really?

    Except, of course, to all the people that will no longer be buying their shoddy product in the first place. If I ever have to go back to the food shelf, I’ll pass on the Barilla, and that’s saying quite a bit.

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  28. Just because a person doesn’t agree with you, does not mean that they are hateful, or scared. It just means they have a different opinion. My best friends, who are gay, know I don’t agree with that lifestyle, but that I love/agree with them.

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  29. My ‘traditional” family won’t be eatibg this pasta any more either. I am teaching my children that everyone is equal, and love is love. Two peoe fall in love and live happily ever after. Anyone trying to stop them is an evil witch and muat be stopped.

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  30. Okay I have to say something here. Just when did it become not okay to not like something. As long as somebody is not actively doing something to hurt someone else then that is their right. Why must acceptance be forced on ANYBODY. I personally don’t like stupid people. If I own a business, should I now be forced to deal with stupid people and their stupid questions and their stupid looks of incomprehension? When the hell did this move away from tolerance to acceptance to “you must accede to our every demand or we will attempt to ruin your business” ? So a man says that his company will not run an ad featuring a gay family…WHY THE HELL SHOULD HE HAVE TO??? He is totally right, Everybody has the right to do what they want to as long as it doesn’t bother anybody else. He has the right to only want to feature traditional family units in his advertising, you have the right to not eat his pasta. But to go into full OMG mode is going a bit too far. It’s not like the guy is out there spouting anti-gay propaganda. He just said he is not interested in marketing to the gay population AS IS HIS RIGHT TO DO!!!!

    He didn’t say “I hate gay people” He didn’t say that gay people are bad. He simply said that they plan to confine their marketing to traditional family stereotypes.
    So I have to ask, When you say that gay families deserve equal treatment, Are you saying that he must now make an advertisement featuring a gay family?

    How the HELL is he treating you differently? by not advertising to your demographic? WHAT THE HELL? So now should I get upset because I see a commercial on tv that isn’t marketed directly at me?
    Who are you to tell another human being to keep their ideas to themselves? Oh but wait if he had come out in FAVOR of the LBGT community then he is okay to speak all he wants, He only has to be quiet when his views don’t line up in lock step with yours.

    I get it though, Freedom of speech and all that, but only if it is something you agree with, otherwise shut your mouth. So let me say the same to you. I don’t agree with what you say, so I think you should shut your mouth.
    Now tell me, am I right in saying that? And if not why are you?

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    • No one asked him to feature a gay family in his advertisements. The guy OFFERED UP the opinion in a very small radio interview and it went viral. The author of the piece agreed that he was allowed to have his own opinion. But she is absolutely correct when she stated that he just needs to stop talking. As the owner of a huge corporation, he is in a position of power to do great harm with his words.

      Did you even read Casey’s letter???

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      • I did read her letter. If you notice I respond to a few things she said. And you are right. He was never asked to use a gay couple in his ads. He was asked if he would. And he responded. He didn’t go around telling people he wouldn’t without being asked. That would be offensive. It would be like he was trying to make sure that people knew he wasn’t in favor of gays. But no he kept his mouth shut until asked. And he answered honestly. I applaud him for that. Strange how we complain about people dodging questions and being evasive and then complain when somebody is honest if it isn’t what we want to hear.

        So let me ask this. What great harm did he do? He said he wasn’t interested in advertising to gay families. He didn’t say that gay people are bad. He didn’t say that they don’t have rights. He used no hate speech at all. He simply said I believe a different way. When did that become not okay? Attacking someone for not believing the way you do is not the way this should go. Then you are simply completing the circle.

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        • Dennis, let me try to break it down for you. It would be like, if someone asked him a question, and he responded with “I do not want to put weird, white pirates with long hair from Portland in my ad, as I do not agree with that lifestyle at all”. For him to publicly say that, you should have the right to be slightly mad as he’s specifically pointing you at as a group he does not want to sell to, and does not want in his campaigns ever. He does not want to have you and your peg-legged, parrot wearing people eating his pasta, and will not include them in their advertisements ever, as being a pirate is just not something he agrees with. So if someone were to say that, when growing up as a white, long haired pirate, which I assume you can relate because being a pirate must be just as much of a minority, if not more so, than being a homosexual, is already hard enough for you. That having a company come out, whether asked or not, to say what he said, is offensive. We are a group of people who are murdered in every country for being who we are, we are constantly discriminated against, and we’re doing our best, but still not making the strides we want to make. And the worst part is, we were born this way…we didn’t get to choose to be a pirate like you did. I live in NYC and walk at night (if I’m by myself) in fear that someone will bash me for being who I am, though i’m not hurting anyone at all. If you grew up hearing slurs about who you are at the dinner table because your family members didn’t know you were gay yet, or if you had friends in high school stop being your friend once they found out because they couldn’t agree with it or see you in the same light at all, and then to have a company say they’re not interested in selling to you…it’s kind of hurtful. If someone was out murdering pirates, or calling you guys slurs under their breath at the pirate-dinner-table, maybe you, Mr. Adkins, would truly know what we were feeling. And Mr. Adkins…I do not believe anyone should be a pirate, or raise their children as little pirates, so I don’t agree with your weird, Portland lifestyle either…and it’s okay that you don’t agree with ours…but stop trying to write on pages like this if you don’t agree with us man, I’m not looking for pirate pages on the internet to put you guys down. I also feel kind of like it’s demeaning my intelligence to argue with someone like this… http://frabz.com/3wkt. That is far worse than any gay thing I’ve ever done, and I hope after that. Guido decides pirates are next on his list of people he doesn’t want to sell to…because your lifestyle is just…way odder than ours will ever be. We should all take your opinion with a grain of salt, sir. Have a good one.

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          • Kevin,
            First of all thank you for spreading my meme out just that little bit further, I was amused when I first saw it and I applaud you for finding it. To give that picture context though, it was taken while I was participating in the World Naked Bike Ride. Which is a protest ride trying to demonstrate and raise awareness on how vulnerable bicycle riders are compared to cars. It also ties into the movement on how to make our society less car-centric. And therefore less fossil fuel dependant.
            I know you cant see it in that picture but I was surrounded by about 10,000 other bicyclists some of which were in an ever greater state of undress than myself. So please do not feel that your intelligence has been demeaned by crossing words with me based solely on my lifestyle since I do not feel the same way about you based on yours

            . And you are right Kevin, I have never had to listen to slurs concerning my sexuality, whether at the dinner table or anywhere else. No, my childhood demons were of a more pedestrian sort, but we won’t go into that as they are not relevant, suffice it to say that my childhood was no picnic either.
            And yes, when I go out in my pirate gear I get stares, and comments, and hear names muttered under the breath, freak, loser, dork, geek. Oh and don’t forget they hundreds of people I get YARRRing at me like it is the first time I have heard it all day.

            Now in response to your assertion that I do not agree with your lifestyle, Nothing could be further from the truth. If you knew me you would know I am quite the proponent of gay rights, I believe that the LGBT community should have every right as anybody else. I didn’t write on this page with a counterpoint argument because I don’t believe in gay rights, I wrote on the page because I have noticed a disturbing trend toward the vilification of any person or company that does not espouse wholehearted endorsement of the LGBT community and lifestyle.

            And if a company doesn’t want to put a fat, white, long haired pirate in their advertising then that is their right, Why should they market to me if I am not their target audience, That’s like me getting mad if Lil Wayne said that he isn’t going to have a fat white long haired pirate on his next album cover. Am I supposed to get all up in arms because of that? No, because I am not his target audience/market.

            And Kevin, one last thing, first, the guy never said he didn’t want gay people eating his pasta, he said that he wasn’t planning on marketing to gay families and if that was a problem then eat other pasta, Basicly he was saying if you don’t agree with us fine that is your right and you are welcome to vote with your wallet.
            And Second, I never put anyone here down, just because someone doesn’t agree with you doesn’t mean that they are putting you down or insulting you. For a society to grow there has to be dissenting opinions otherwise we are all just the Borg and there is no individualism left.

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            • I apologize, I misinterpreted part of your message (which is annoyingly easy to do when you can’t hear the tone of someone’s voice). I thought “So let me say the same to you. I don’t agree with what you say, so I think you should shut your mouth.
              Now tell me, am I right in saying that? And if not why are you?” was in response to the gay life style, and that you weren’t agreeing with it, that’s why I instantly got up in arms and was wondering if you were just trolling gay posts…because there are so many hateful people who do that on the internet just to post how we should be put to death, blah blah blah, so i apologize for instantly lumping you in with them. It was my mistake. I’m also like 10 hours ahead of everyone right now so it was pretty late when I read that. My apologies. I just think with all of the hate going on in the world (Egypt, Syria..the list can go on and on), that it’s about time that people in power just stop all of this nonsense, especially when you’re a head of a corporation or brand name, to stop discriminating against any type of person. Him saying: “Barilla in its advertising has always chosen to represent the family because this is the symbol of hospitality and affection for everyone,” and by saying he won’t include gays, is the same as him saying he doesn’t believe a gay family is the same, and is in a sense lesser. And I’m just so tired of that. So, he’s right when he said “Our family is a traditional family. If gays like our pasta and our advertising, they will eat our pasta; if they don’t like that, they will eat someone else’s pasta.”…we will be eating someone else’s pasta. And let’s be real, we already have Chick-fil-A hating homosexuals, do we really need to add other food companies to our plate?

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              • Kevin, Here is where I think we differ on a couple things.
                First, I don’t think a brand name has any responsibility to the public. Insofar as their views on a subject. Especially a food company that makes something so pedestrian as pasta. They don’t make laws, they don’t influence the masses, So what they think is really inconsequential in the grand scheme of things.
                The only thing they have a responsibility to the public to do is make a safe product and be truthful in it’s ingredients.

                Second, Chick-fil-A is in a category all it’s own.THEY actually give money to anti-gay groups and try to effect real world anti-gay change. Barilla has done none of that. What I got from his comments were, “(I don’t condone the gay lifestyle, You have the right to be gay and be a family but it’s not my choice of lifestyle, I choose to advertise to traditional family stereotypes and if you are okay with me having my own opinion then great, if not, then you can fuck right off)” But that is what “I” got from the comments. Everyone’s perception is different.

                I think this whole thing has been blown WAY out of proportion, This is a slippery slope that we are on, Forcing agreement or acceptance on anybody is not the way that this should go. That would be like forcing a company that generally only markets to the gay community to feature a straight couple in their advertising. How well would that go over?

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        • Hi. Did you notice that many debates are predicated on the unspoken idea/expectation that society should be taylor-made to the individual? This is your audience, and they can’t hear you – as evidenced by the sophistry pouring forth in response to your comments. Just wanted to remind you that the world is filled with people who believe in their own righteousness, and it is your roll to remember this. They don’t get it. They are trapped in the paradox. Forgive them and keep writing. You’re on to something.

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  31. Barilla is officially banned in my household! I will not support ignorance or intolerance of any kind and if by banning the product my voice is heard all the better. And so should everyone else whether they are gay or not, its about love for humankind and making that statement through your buying power.
    Beautifully written and good on you for writing this and sharing it. :)

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  32. Right on woman. To help with freedom of speech or even thought fir that matter.

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  33. Right on sister!

    When at the grocery store with my family, we are often mistaken for a traditional family. We are not. We are unconcerned with gender roles, we do whatever it takes to get the job done. We are showing our daughters that family is about respect and love, not societal norms, whether that be in respect to who one can love, who can use power tools, or who should do the cooking. When we cook, we will not be cooking with Barilla.

    Shame on you, sir, twice.

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  34. Good for you Casey, some people are just so
    IGNORANT. I too support the LGBT, this idiot must be very lonely, my best of best friends are same
    sex couples, they are WONDERFUL people and very loyal and loving, my straight friends are more criminal, hurtful, and like to use me. I too will NEVER eat barilla again, and I plan to tell all my friends and family. Blessed Be

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  35. it is sad at 2013 that our eyes are closed life is short even for me raised the way I was of corse gay ment happy so here we are if you and yours are happy why should it matter how or what I believe I may not agree but that’s what makes us truly human I was raised to believe that it is wrong to be this way but if you love someone you know I am not god only god can judge you so at the end of the day keep your family happy and that child is all that matters

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  36. Awesome! <3
    I'm not gay, but does it really matter if we love a man or a woman? We're all people, humans. We should love who we want to love.
    Hugs from Germany!

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  37. Perfect letter! Kudos to you for writing it! A family is a family no matter the specific dynamics!

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  38. Frankly, the point is if you don’t have something nice to say, say nothing at all. That’s a pretty easily understood PR snippet, as a spokes person for a company, as a manager of people, as a human raising other humans.
    The point is negative words have real impact.

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  39. Well stated Casey!!! The scary thing is that somewhere in his own circle there may be a closeted person who is deathly afraid to out themselves (for obvious reasons…)

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  40. It is really important in today’s world that we respect each other above all ethnic and whatsoever class we belong. We should care for others feelings and nobody has the right to speak or enforce anything which we dont believe in. People like Casey are our real heroes because they speak out of all odds and majority of us just read or listen and goes by, like nothing has happened.

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  41. Sadly, I think it takes a generation with this belief and thought to end in order for stances to change. The shift in attitude has to do with the youth getting older. Those born in the 1970s are more tolerant and understanding of differences than those born in earlier decades. It was the same for civil rights and rights of the disabled. Some opinions change and of course some in future generations will have the same mindset. The change needs to occur with our youth.

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  42. The sympathy approach to a weasel interviewing method doesn’t work, but it sounds nice. He encouraged gays to eat another brand, and hardly a trapping of an uncomfortable question. Funny thing is that I have seen the Gay Barilla commercial they produced for LOGO. Have cake, will eat!

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  43. Thank you!!! I can’t put up anything whatsoever GLBT pride on my home (flag, car sticker) because my kids’ windows face the street. And yes, I’m afraid someone would throw (or shoot) something thru their windows.

    HATE is not protected and should never be protected.

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  44. I wonder if this is the reason that I could not find Barilla in the grocery store the other day. I had no idea that this statement had been made…

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  45. While I agree with the sentiment of ending hate, I disagree with everyone hating on Barilla. Hate is not a one way street. Guido did not say he hated gays. He simply said he does not agree with it. So now everyone hates on him because he has an opinion? Is the gay opinion the only right opinion? Guido said he had no issues with gays he just doesn’t agree with them. Suddenly he is hated. Since when does the ‘couple’ represented in a commercial mean so much? Does it really matter how a ‘family’ is represented in a commercial? And if people want him to keep his opinion to himself then they shouldn’t ask the question. He didn’t come out and just state his opinion, he was asked for it.

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  46. Sticks and stones people, sticks and stones. Has anyone checked to see if their neighbor is hungry, or in need?

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  47. well said. My mother always said “if you have nothing good to say. say nothing”, He should have listened to my Mother. it is none of our business.

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  48. Just my two cents….

    I’m nearly 50, straight, male, and love Pasta. But I just don’t understand why anybody, in 2013, would continue to think in such an archaic manner. The world has grown and changed. Things that were thought to be perfectly acceptable 500 years ago (the world is flat) we have found to be false and unrealistic when logic and intelligence and observation is applied to the problem.

    I’ve never understood, and simply can not wrap my mind around anybody thinking that love between two people who happen to be of the same sex, is somehow inferior or less than the love between a man and a woman. I thought Love was always a good thing and hate and discord a bad thing?

    Now, if my memory serves me correctly, I don’t recall anywhere within the words of Christ where he says anything at all about hating people, or for that matter, where he spoke at all against homosexuality. I think if it was such a big deal to him as the ‘christians’ make it out to be, their pocket god would have at the very LEAST said something about it before he got himself strung up right? *checks bible again* Nope… nothing in the words of christ about homosexuality… odd…

    *looks at the Barilla Pasta in my food donation bag*

    Sorry Barilla, but I can’t support a company who’s corporate ideals disrespects, marginalizes and layers hate onto another human being, regardless of their sexuality. Hate is not acceptable to me. I stand with my brothers and sisters in the LGBT community in refusing to use your brand again.

    ~DWS

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    • DWS, you sir, are awesome. Thank you so much for being the person you are.

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    • Okay, I have to question something here. I see the word HATE thrown around a lot. When did not being in agreement with something become HATE? When I hear my gay friends at the club dishing on “breeders” is that hate? When they give me shit for making out with my girlfriend in front of them and go EWWWW and make comments, is that hate? Should I make them be accepting of my sexual orientation? Or is it only straight people that have to be accepting of gay people? Just something to think about.

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      • Hi Dennis. I hate to break this to you, but I have a feeling it is not just your gay friends who think watching you make out with your girlfriend is gross….and you should know, I think this example may be “hate” related, because I think most people would really hate watching that. EWWWWWW.

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        • Wow Jessica, way to go on the insults there. I have to ask, why do you feel the need to insult me? Have I somehow offended you? Did my question bring up uncomfortable self realizations? I ask because I wasn’t even posing my response to you but you somehow felt compelled to go out of your way to insult me and imply that somehow me kissing my girlfriend in public is somehow gross for all the world. I find that interesting.

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          • Hi Dennis, glad you brought up some important questions. Dennis this is a well written verbalization of Casey’s feelings and ideas, and by ” this” I am referencing her blog. As someone who has met her as a real life person but now enjoys her daily musings, I decided to read the comments on this this particular entry because I was curious about the temperament. Which brings us to where we are today. In the comments section. A few inches above these words sits an adorable picture of a baby eating spaghetti. This is where we are having our conversation, on a “mommy blog” for lack of better term, under a baby eating spaghetti, and not just any baby but Casey’s daughter. I wanted to put our conversation into perspective, because when I read your aggressive tone then followed by that very funny comment rebuttal about you being a pirate (yes, I checked out the meme- also very funny), then followed by your response in a serious tone…I was a bit floored. You took great care in dropping any aggression or agenda or whatever to plug how dangerous riding a bike was. Weird, but very nice. You then carefully addressed being a pirate, with what seems to be a “straight face”, no pun intended. I was like….whoaaaaaa…..weird. But once you got down to this kissing nonsense, I couldn’t contain myself anymore. Dennis you are a grown man! First of all, how often are you out in public “making out”? Are you naked on a bike when you are doing it (I hope so!)? I don’t have any gay or straight friends that start “making out” in front of me. And who on earth are you friends with, middle school gay kids? If they are adults then your makeout sessions must be pretty hot and heavy (ie socially awkward and inappropriate ) to cause for them to comment! Next, are you suddenly going to get all, by the comments section book on me? You weren’t even responding to me, so how dare I write something to you? Okay. And to add to that, truthfully I didn’t go out of my way. It only took like 1 to 2 minutes tops. I have to say though, it seems to make you feel slighted and marginalized that someone thinks you kissing your loved one is gross and that the whole world shouldn’t see it. I mean, hey, “Just when did it become not okay to not like something ” and “Why must acceptance be forced on ANYBODY. ” Just cause I have the right to say something, that may possibly insult you, should I? Should I go get a bit aggressive on a blog about children? A place where discussions about how to adorably cut up a toddlers breakfast into fun shapes and feelings and fears about raising a lovely little girl in a world where it is totally a-ok to declare you don’t like/agree with/ believe in/ acknowledge her family. Dennis, this is why I answered your comment. Even when you were not even talking to me.

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  49. Our beautiful family, your beautiful words…BRAVO Casey! Mimi would like to say….Dear Guido you need a time out….PLEASE listen to LOVE!!!

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  50. I was curious over this on my FB newsfeed, so I opened it. The little noodle face drew me in, I’ll admit. After reading this I’m blown away by your strong words. This was well written and I admire you for standing up for yourself and so many others. I honestly used to have a problem with anyone who consisted gay. I just steered cleared of it. I lost a good friendship over it too. Once I had my first child though and thought what if he ended up like that? Would I want him living in fear of telling me because he is afraid I would ostracize him. That totally turned around my way of thinking. I teach my children that we are all people, we all bleed the same, we just sometimes love different people or sometimes people don’t feel comfortable the way they were born and they change their appearance. I want them to accept everyone as they are. I don’t want them to think there is something wrong with another person because they may not be just like them. I really hope and pray that more people teach their children the same and one day there won’t be so much hate.

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  51. Dear Guido, we have eaten a lot of pasta in our 46 years together as a family. As a matter of fact it’s one of our favorite meals. However in future we will certainly walk past your brand in the supermarket. Perhaps you should apply a new message to your packaging: This Product Not Recommended For Homosexuals.

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  52. This is where I feel you need to be more open-minded and accepting. I am a Christian and go to church regularly. I try to live a life that is kind to all. My daughter is a brilliant, well-known scientist, whose field is Molecular Biology. Years ago, she told me that to be gay isn’t a choice – it is in your genes. I’m tired of people blaming God for the problems brought on by evil people. I have NO problem with gays/lesbians and have many friends who were married early on, have children, but since have ‘come out’ to be who they really are meant to be. Wonderful, loving people whom I am so happy to say are lifelong friends. BTW, I am not gay, am 70 years old, and have been married for 50 years. Please accept people for who they really are meant to be. That thinking regarding homosexuality is from the Old Testament. God sent Christ to teach us to LOVE and accept each other and, God doesn’t make mistakes.

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