I rode my red bike today. For Pentecost.
I don’t know what I believe most of the time. But Pentecost and spirit like fire? I’m all in for that. Riley and I waited to be last for communion. Then we lit candles for Taylor Swift together. Jesus loves TSwift.
Today celebrates the birthday of the church. Of Christianity itself. At the same time of the Dugger scandal and any other scandal and oh how I don’t want any association with the Christian church. And yet here I am. Eating some cake with a dove on it. Explaining the Holy Spirit to my daughter. Cringing, but still here. Sometimes hardly. But still here.
Faith is like that, I guess. It’s the staying (even hardly) when you want to run. Because you trust something bigger than a scandal can shake or all the doubt can pull you from. Or maybe communion just feels like home.
Probably just that.
I’ll never figure it out and I’ve stopped trying so hard. I’m okay with cringing and wanting to run. God is big enough for all of that. There’s space for me here. In this. In that. Always.
Because this spirit is like fire. I’m all in for that.