I love the internet: The LGBTQ Edition
It’s I love the internet time! For the gays! Hooray! I love the gays! Or maybe the queers, or a letter or two or three, as you’d like. I prefer gay in this context because the word rhymes with hooray. That’s super important.
If I have gay children…
“I won’t talk around them in conversations with others. I won’t speak in code or vague language. I won’t try to pull the wool over anyone’s eyes, and I won’t try to spare the feelings of those who may be older, or easily offended, or uncomfortable. Childhood is difficult enough, and most gay kids spend their entire existence being horribly, excruciatingly uncomfortable. I’m not going to put mine through any more unnecessary discomfort, just to make Thanksgiving dinner a little easier for a third cousin with misplaced anger issues. If my children come out, we’ll be out as a family.”
“People want you to choose. Pick a side. Or people will assume you are gay but just not ready to admit it yet. If you fall in love with a person of one gender, people will assume you have picked and that you are no longer bisexual. It doesn’t work like that. Part of why I wanted to write about this was to tell my truth and to tell my dad’s truth. To be transparent. To end shame.”
Read more of My Dad and I Helped Each Other Come Out.
“Mom, I can’t decide.”
“When I start second grade tomorrow, should I start as a boy or a girl?”
I panicked, and not because my son might be my daughter, but because a social transition like he was suggesting takes at least more than the 12 hours he was giving me – eight of which we were supposed to be asleep.
“I think that’s up to you. That’s a question that only you can answer,” I said calmly while feeling anything but.
Read more of Should I Start School As A Boy Or A Girl.
“How was school, baby?” I asked. He shrugged, and I watched as he started picking at his fingernails. “Did anyone like your nails today?”
“Nope,” he said, “but two thumbs down.”
“Really? What did they say?”
“One girl said I was weird. She hates all the boys. And Jacob said–.” He stopped abruptly, upset and confused.
“What did Jacob say?” I asked gently.
“He said I was gay. He said it lots.” And my baby collapsed in tears in my arms.
The house went quiet for minute. My oldest son, who was doing something across the room, froze with his eyes on us. I rubbed my middle son’s shaking back, my mind racing. Here I was with one son crying because he’d been taunted with a word that accurately describes the other. Not only did I have to think of what to say to the upset boy in my lap, but I had to keep in mind that my oldest son would be listening to every word.
Read more of Anti-Gay Bullying at School, But Not Like We Expected.
Read more from and about the LGBTQ community on my new Pinterest Board: That’s So Gay (no really, it is) where I pinned all my favorite gay of the week. It’s also a great reminder for anyone (including sometimes myself) who thinks that the fight for gay rights and equality is pretty much over because everyone thinks gays are fine. Yes, things are better than they’ve been. No, it’s not fine. We are far from equality. We are far from safety in a lot of ways in a lot of spaces. There is a lot of work to be done and a lot of people writing about it.
Don’t forget to check out my weekly column on SheKnows about LGBTQ parenting, too. This week I wrote about how using an anonymous sperm donor to help us create a family also helped us decide to just have one child, though that wasn’t our original plan. Read An only child by choice at SheKnows.com.