Everything Isn’t Everything
As I enter my third month of running, I’ve finally stopping obsessing about running without stopping to walk. While lots of people can do such a thing and still have a great run or even a great life, I am not one of them. My battle with running isn’t with my body, it’s with discouragement. If I stop, I’m done.
I obsess about quitting in general.
I’m afraid if I miss a run, I’ll quit. If I have a bad run, I’ll quit. If I get hurt or sick, I’ll quit.
I obsess that everything means everything.
If I have a slow run, I’ll be slow forever. If I have a bad run, all runs will be awful forever. If my schedule can’t find time for three runs one week, I’ll never find the time for three runs ever again.
It’s so fun being inside this head of mine. Really.
Running is teaching me that everything isn’t everything. There are bad runs. And good ones. Sometimes I’m faster, sometimes I’m slower. Sometimes schedules have all the time for running, other times they don’t. All of this is okay.
Stopping doesn’t mean I’ll quit. Everything isn’t everything.
I’m learning to go on a run and see what it has for me. Sometimes that takes me faster and further than I expect. Other times it’s slower and shorter. Sometimes it’s too hard. Sometimes it’s easy and fun. On Saturday, I had my best run. I ran to the beach. It was perfect and my time was great and everything totally ruled. Then my schedule has been tricky with Roozle’s first week back at school and I haven’t found the time to run again, and may not get three runs in this week. That’s okay. For real. I think.