This Time It’s Different

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This time is different. I’ve tried running before, but I was never quite able to get out of my head. I pushed too hard, hurt myself, gave up, had to walk, felt terrible, all the things. I ran a few short races that were all awful and too hard and not nearly as fun as they were supposed to be.

This time is different. I’m not following a training program. My app doesn’t tell me what to do, I tell it what I’m doing. And what I’m doing is running. Three times a week. I don’t care how far or fast I go, I just want to keep going. I want to keep showing up. I want to keep getting better.

This time, I’m on my own. I’m doing this for me. I’m doing this to get stronger and be healthier and maybe build up enough strength in my legs and core to help my knees feel better. So far, these knees do feel better. A lot better.

This time, I’m choosing not to get discouraged. I refuse to let myself believe that everyone who runs past me is judging me. They’re thinking about how slow I’m going. They’re noticing how out of shape I am.
Everyone is looking at me.
I’m done with that.

This time, I’ve decided that each person I see is proud of me. I pretend they know how hard I’m working. I pretend they’re so proud but can’t say anything because they don’t want to mess me up. Do you know how awesome it feels to have every single person you pass be super proud of you? So awesome. Even if it’s just pretend. That’s fine with me. Pretend stranger running pride totally rules.

This time, I’m starting to believe in myself. I like that way better.

Wife selfie from our running date last week. It ruled.

Author: Casey

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