Good Things Are Good
I love writing! Let’s write all the things!
That’s what January looked like. Specifically January first, which is probably not a great time for Very Exciting Ideas. It’s way better for the boring ideas that have been floating around in your head for more than three days. This is how we ended up here. With really big plans. And a major inability to fulfill the plans. More specifically, one plan. The plan to fill a notebook each month with free writing. A 70 page notebook. Meaning at least 2+ pages of free writing a day or way more than that if I skipped a day. Guess what? I skipped a day. Then another day. And another. I was tired. Then I got overwhelmed. Then I got stuck.
I brought it up yesterday with a friend, hoping he would provide the encouragement and motivation to send me running home to free write all the pages and get caught up. He didn’t do that. Instead, he said, “Why are you making a good thing into something bad?”
Free writing is good. Really good. It’s great for me to work out ideas, learn to trust my voice, and practice as a writer. It’s good. By putting an arbitrary number goal on it, I turned it into something not good. It became a source of anxiety. The writing that was so freeing suddenly became my trap. Trapped is exactly where I don’t want to be.
Today I wrote a poem in the margin. Two days ago I drew a tree. I’m letting go while holding my notebook close. It might be the only notebook I work on this year, but I’m okay with that. I’m letting a good thing be good.
** Don’t worry, I’m still blogging every day and plan to continue that for the year. That good thing is good and even better when I keep up with it. When I stop blogging, it makes a good thing go bad, quite the opposite of my notebook. That may be what caused the confusion and over-commitment with the notebook to begin with. **
How are you doing with your 2014 goals?